Hey guys, special episode of the AfterGrind here. What is it like episode 18, yeah it's episode 18. And I am going to share with you my origin story. Uh, it's not going to be easy to do, and so language is a little bit nerve wracking, but a little bit, um, yeah, I'm pumped to do it. 

So basically I grew up in rural SA, rural South Australia, and, um, grew up on Kangaroo Island on a  farm in the middle of nowhere. And I guess like, I'll keep the, the way back part of this story, pretty short, but as I kinda grew up, I had like a bit of a hard time catching up in like younger school life. I I was very socially isolated, which is, it's like funny now that everyone can relate during, you know, COVID and stuff. But like, you know, that was my life.

Like I grew up in the middle of nowhere and, um, so I was very socially awkward, but the learning curve was very real when it came to middle school and high school. Um, and then basically I got a really awesome shot in life to go to boarding school in my later years. And, um, it was honestly the chance of a lifetime, which I'm sure I'll forever be grateful for. And so basically I, it was, uh, it was a tough gig. Like I, um, it was awesome, but it was tough. So I, um, had to try and catch up in high school and like, you know, fit in socially and do all this stuff. And, you know, to my credit, I did a really awesome job at, it took me ages and it would be painful sometimes, but I have a lot of awesome friends from there, uh, for life and really set me up for the world to come kind of thing in many ways. There's also some, um, some shortfalls that were nothing to do with like any particular person or school or my family or anything like that, but just kinda like just life kinda like lessons that I've taken from this, which are really fundamental to kind of like the person who, who I am today. So when I left school, this is kind of like where it all kind of begins when I left school in 2012.

I, um,

wow. That's like eight years ago now. Well, um, yeah, like I, um, I was like this almost 18 year old kid who was just super pumped, like between my friends and almost had colleagues well between my friends from school and like people who I was competing against for grades and for footie and gym and all this stuff. Um, I really left that school and, and really propelled myself into life with this really strong hunger to be successful and to do really well, which is just awesome. It was just like, I was so pumped just to like go out and get the best job I could and be successful. And I wish I could get him old mind and like rewind time to know what I was thinking back then. Cause like, honestly damn like seriously. I wish I could read my mind from back then we'll have a chat with myself from back then because the stuff I was thinking was like really powerful, but it wasn't really thought through.

So, um, by the time I was 18 and 19, I was studying at a university here in Adelaide and I was studying engineering. Um, I had this idea that, well, I did really good at maths and physics and I'm really analytical, kind of good at that kind of stuff. So I'll go be an engineer. And I loved the show, mega structures. I really loved structural engineering and things like that. So I went into that and I kind of did a write with it for the first year. Kind of, um, got really tough in the second half of the first year. Um, but it wasn't just the studying. It was because of, it was, it was more like I was rebelling against it. It wasn't that the coursework got heaps harder. It was that I wasn't my strong self in it. You know, it didn't get harder.

I kind of almost got weaker in a sense in doing it like, um, and to the point where I just was like resisting and I was like, this isn't for me, I'm going down a corridor now. And it's taking me, I wasn't like aware enough to kind of put it in these words back then, but it just didn't feel right. And so I would like spend all my time Googling and new tubing things to learn on YouTube. And it's so funny that like, um, I remember like shooting into this like one day coaching conference, uh, on YouTube back in the day and being like, wow, like I'm learning this, guy's doing seminars. It was actually a, he was actually, um, uh, Matthew Hussey seminar back when he used to coach guys back like 10 years ago. And, um, I was like, this guy's awesome. He's standing up and he's presenting stuff and he's speaking.

And I was like, this stuff's really, really cool. I really like this. Um, and I was like, yeah, like I want to do something like this. And, but I have no, I had no idea how and I was, and you know, it was kinda just like a fleeting thought really for that period of time kind of exam procrastination type stuff. And cut, cut the long story short a little bit. So basically zoom forward a little bit to like the end of that year, I started the next year kind of thing. I had this, I went into, I left that degree and I went into study business. Cause I was like, I had this idea in my head. I was like, I'm not going to be happiest and engineered. I don't want to work for anybody else. I don't want to, well, I mean working for somebody, else's kind of right.

In some context, but working, you know, I was like, I don't want to work in the mines and, or I don't want to work for the state government building roads and stuff. I mean, those are those things are cool and they're, they can be cool jobs, but it definitely wasn't me. And I was kind of thinking in the longterm and I was like, this is one of the things that I'm so grateful for. Like I've always had that somewhat. I've always somewhat had that kind of like longterm awareness of what things lead to. And um, so I was thinking, I was like, well, I want to have freedom and flexibility and I want to cool my own shots. I'm going to study business. So I got into, um, Adelaide business school and studied entrepreneurship and accounting and commerce and economics. And six months later, I was like, some of this was kind of cool, but this is not helping. I was like, um, I was like to be honest, looking back at that period of my life, I felt like my life sucked. And it's kind of weird to say that, but like

I remember yeah.

Being like it was like second semester, which was the time when I dropped out. And I remember like, I'm not, I'm not doing this. This is not for me. And so I was just like,

no,

I've got, I can't do this. Um, all I'm learning here is how to be an employee in someone else's massive business. Right. And I was like, this sounds like a pretty crap deal. Like, it sounds like a pretty crap to you to be studying like three years or more of my life, like three more years without a car or a decent car. And without being able to have my own place and without being able to earn good money for once, for the first time in my life. So I could, you know, have some kind of lifestyle and put some savings aside versus just being a poor student for all these years. And I was like, you know what, I'm going to get a job and I'm going to start Clem my up in corporate. And I was like, I had this really ungrounded, but really powerful, um, kind of drive for success.

I was like, I'm going to get in there, you know, wear a suit every day, get there early work, super hard, get all the results, you know, be the best person in the team, become a manager Kleimo out, maybe move to Melbourne. Um, whatever it takes, I'm going to climb my up this corporate ladder and this big company. And then I got in there and I kind of did. And then I changed it on the company and I went even higher and I got two more promotions after that. And by many people's standards, I was like sitting pretty at that point. Like I was like, um, I really doubled down and I went all in, right. So I worked harder and I went out there to really have to kind of achieve my dream and fast forward to when I was about 23 or so back in the day.

And I had become like a regional manager for like a very well known massive Australian company. And I was only 23 and I looked at like, what I valued back then. And I had like a closet of fancy suits and I had a really nice car and I was probably earning more than any of my friends, um, at that point. And I, you know, I was flying across the country, getting flown to Sydney and Melbourne all the time for work. Um, and I was like, you know, this is success. You know, anyone on the outside would have been like, Oh, that's the best, what success looks like. Um, and here's reality. So on the inside, my stress levels were so high. Like I could not legitimately have fun anymore. And I would temp like without people noticing I would temporarily fall unconscious throughout the day cause I was working too hard and I was only sleeping up to like three, four hours a night, seven days a week.

I was going to sleep at like midnight and waking up at 3:00 AM alert and sweating and hot. And, um, I couldn't get back to sleep and I was just grinding myself into the ground. Um, and I was trying to study at uni at the same time, trying to stay business for some reason, like thinking that would lead to a higher paying job as well as something. And, um, I was pretty much relying on just like caffeine and alcohol, every single day to fatigue and function, you know, caffeine to pump myself up all day. So I could just stand up and do stuff and an alcoholic. So I could try and chew myself out and go to sleep at night. And I was just in the worst possible place.

And I had this trout, I was trapped. I kept thinking if I could just get more done, if I could just keep stick sticking at it. If I could just be a man and get done, then eventually this will all start getting easier and I'll start getting better at it. Um, and you know, I'll break through, you know, it'll be a great and you know, then I'll keep climbing up higher and keep earning more and it'll be my dream. And then I burnt out and as often as often happens, I completely hit rock bottom. When I finally decided to give myself a little bit of a break and went on holiday to Vietnam and my family exploring Asia for a few weeks and it should have been really amazing. It should have been, I should have been like present there and having fun and you know, really having a good time, but uh, making memories and stuff.

But the reality was like, it couldn't be further from the truth. Like I, um, wasn't able to have any fun at all, even doing things that usually would be so fun for me. I was physically present, but I was thousands of miles away, mentally and everything I tried to do to relax and have fun, just felt like one task that I was anxious that I had to get out of the way. So I could start achieving things and hitting results back at work. And the way I described it was like I was stuck in a self imposed prison where so flour was, but a totally foreign concept.

I was forever anxious about the next thing that I quote unquote had to do. And I didn't see any way out. And I'm amongst thankfully amongst all of the destructive habits that I had developed, I did make one move that kind of proved to be my savior in a way. Um, I sought out, I sought out a coach who really did inspire me. And at that point really had kind of lived the life that I wanted to from the outset from the outside, that person was living the life that I wanted to be living. Um, and so I reached out to that person, became their client and started learning from them and then mentoring me. And, um, he really had my back and cared about me. I could tell that straight away. And in addition to that, like I joined a gym, um, down the road and I started working out again.

Um, I started seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist for myself. Um, I reconnected with my family and kind of things started to get back to normal after a few months, like I was almost sleeping properly. I was sleeping, you know, six plus hours a night. Um, and you know, fast forward six months, I was completely kind of back to what most people would consider healthy in terms of all that stuff. I pretty much found myself again. And, um, then I'm kind of faced with this challenge of like, you know, so then I kind of, I was doing great. I was making some money online. You know, I worked out how to make money online. I was backed into health. I was, you know, physically fit, you know, had time, like all this stuff that's supposed to make you happy and you know, all that kind of stuff.

Um, but it kind of wasn't really, so what I realized was that, um, I, it's kind of a double edged sword. Like I had broken through so many barriers and achieve so many different goals and also this kind of like catching up as a kid and having to learn this learning curve that I was hit with in high school and stuff. Um, because I ever came that and I did catch up and I propelled to success in a material sense for most people's version of success. I had this awesome. Apifany that? And it's, so it's such an internal, deep thing that no one can ever take away from me. It's like, I know I can achieve anything if I work at it and put my mind to it for long enough. I know that. So that's an awesome thing, but everything has a flip side.

Right. And the flip side of that is that if you know, on a fundamental cellular level in your heart, that you can do anything and you can achieve anything, you set your mind, do you start kind of, sometimes you kind of start your head, starts messing with you and you're like, well, I need you to do something more meaningful now because may just having a business and climbing the ladder in corporate, I could have probably healthily done after that point while I've after I sorted my stuff out, you know, or running an online business or doing e-comm or, you know, whatever it might be that I was doing to try and make a lot of money online and all this stuff, you know, whether it's academics or something like that, you know, kicking goals in that I have to question like, if I can truly do anything, like I believe then the real issue becomes what I do.

Like what is most suited to me? And so the really awesome thing here is that I realized this so young. Like I, the fact that I realized is so young, is this the biggest blessing ever in my life, right? Who knows how long I could have gone. Like most people, you know, free life decades and a career you aren't necessarily suited to et cetera, blah, blah, blah. But like, I just feel like I want to cry on what it's like for, for like now that I've realized this, I realized something so profound. Like my, I really, I found my calling and it's this the solution to everything. So my calling is I define it as the most meaningful thing. I can be doing what I was created for what my experiences, talents, traits, and my whole life story, the good and the bad has prepared me specifically to do for other people. That's my calling. And what it is for me is

the

architect and the kind of intellectual kind of mind the strategist for other people, for you to help you find your calling. Because I know for a fact, after going through hell that the most important thing, step one, is finding a calling and finding your purpose. You find your values, you find your calling, you find your purpose. That's step one. You wonder why people out there do be a real estate agent for two years and then work in a bank for three years and back I'm an accountant and then become a personal trainer and then become a tourism person. Like you wonder why people would do this kind of stuff. It's because they don't start with step one, right? That's not to blame. I'm like, no one knows this stuff, but after going through hell and you know, with my big, so close to the razor, so close to the edge for so long, a word like it's become my calling in life.

My movement is to show people the clarity, the direction, the plan, the design for their life to help them. Because once cause once you understand what you put here to do, what you value, what means what you stand for and what you're driving for in a wholesome kind of way, for the highest level, once that's clear to you and you embody that everything becomes easy. Because if you, if you truly are called to become some kind of property professional or some kind of environmentalist or some kind of political leader or something like that, once you work it out, if that's you, all of that, me helping you do that becomes so easy, right? If you've got the weight of the world and you understand all of it, leaning into what you know, you have to do, it's going to be so easy for you. The reason people find things so difficult and change all the time and question themselves and all the anxiety is because they miss step one. So that's what this is all about. For me. This is about helping people find their callings, helping them get started, orienting them with the right mindset and forging that mindset in them. So they never have to worry about this stuff that I've gone through. That they're I know there's so many people out there like me and like you who are going through this stuff and have gone through it. And that's what this is all about.

Oh yeah.

So guys, thanks for listening.